How to evacuate from Seoul when the s!@t hits the fan

When tension builds between North and South Korea, evacuation advice articles appear in the press - let's get in early

As the tension builds up between North and South Korea, sooner or later we’re going to see articles on what to do if conflict breaks out. Targeted at expatriates, there’ll be at least one or two pieces giving advice on when and how to escape as the bombs start landing.

So, let’s beat them to it. No worries mate! Just follow this foolproof evacuation plan, and you’ll be out in no time. Or, you know, maybe not. Here’s how to pretend you’re ready for the impossible feat of escaping a densely packed megacity during a rapidly emerging crisis.

1. Stay informed

First things first: be sure to stay glued to your phone 24/7 because nothing screams "preparedness" like obsessively refreshing your Twitter feed for real-time apocalypse updates. The South Korean government might send out an alert—probably right after everyone else has found out on Reddit, but hey, they’ll get there. And of course, every social media rumor you read is bound to be 100% accurate.

Oh, and don’t forget to register with your …